Opinion: I Don’t Need A Halloween Costume If I’ve Never Truly Been Myself

I love October. Changing leaves on every tree, pumpkins on every stoop, and Trader Joe’s butternut squash mac and cheese in every student’s freezer. But there’s one thing I hate about this time of year: everyone asking me what I’m going to be for Halloween. It’s a ridiculous question for someone like me, who wears a mask of my true self every single day.

I’m always pretending. Need proof? I don’t actually love October. It’s my least favorite month. Also, fuck Trader Joe’s, I hate it there. Or do I? You’ll never know. You see, every one of my actions is a carefully calculated deception, designed to cover up the fact that I have no true personality.

Sometimes, after a long day of “interacting” with “friends,” I’ll come home, look in the mirror, and scream. Not because I see a scary monster, but because I see a man I don’t recognize. A man who is not a man but a marionette, puppeteered by an enigmatic hand. And isn’t that scarier than any costume?

So next time you want to ask someone who they’re being for Halloween, take a moment to consider who they’re being right now. Is it their true self, or a meaningless facade designed to keep everyone else from knowing who they really are? I know what my answer is.