Veggie Tales Films Season Premiere At B-Plate
WESTWOOD — This winter, the hit Christian animated show Veggie Tales will be filming its season premiere at B-Plate. “We scouted everywhere in Hollywood for […]
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Paul McCartney, Bob Dylan To Headline “They’re Alive?” Festival
INDIO — Early Thursday morning, organizers of the famed “They’re Alive?” festival excitedly announced their two headliners: Paul McCartney and Bob Dylan. “No, it was […]
4 Things I Refuse To Apologize For After Being Held Hostage By The Pirates Of The Caribbean Animatronics For 93 Days
At first, I was ashamed. I was mortified. For years and years I hid in the shadows. I felt… embarrassed. I was embarrassed by all […]
Fine, Sure, Whatever: The Bear Wins Grammy for Song of the Year
LOS ANGELES — In a shocking upset, FX’s “The Bear” has won this year’s Grammy Award for Song of the Year. “I don’t really know […]
Ariana Grande Turns White After Eating Really Good Meatloaf
BOCA RATON, FL – Ethnically ambiguous queen Ariana Grande has become white again after taking a bite of good ol’ fashioned meatloaf. “Well, golly! I […]
Lucky Color! My Period Falls During Lunar New Year
In Chinese culture, red represents good fortune, prosperity, and vitality. So I guess my period starting fifteen minutes into a two-hour lecture today means my […]
Heartbreaking: Newborn Really Named Kyle
JACKSONVILLE, FL — New “boy mom” Karen Shields recently shocked her Facebook friends by announcing the birth of her terribly named son, Kyle. “When my […]
‘Banana Peel Killer’ Sentenced to Death by Wet Floor
BAKERSFIELD, CA — On Wednesday, serial murderer Anabel Pane, labeled the ‘Banana Peel Killer’ on social media due to her unconventional, cartoonish methods, received an […]
Opinion: Stop Asking To Switch Out Of Your Friday 8AM, Everyone Else Is Hungover Too
The start of the quarter is rough for all of us, let’s admit it. An end to a seemingly endless interlude from reality, our first […]