RA Responds To Keurig Explosion
WESTWOOD–Sproul Hall Residential Advisor (RA) Shay Stephens responded to a violent and fiery Keurig coffee maker explosion on the fifth floor this past Friday night. […]
Campus
Couple Reschedules Fight
WESTWOOD–Local couple Anthony Mullen and Sarah Brown were forced to reschedule their fight, which was set for Tuesday at 8:00 p.m., to a later date […]
Empty Conditioner Bottle Goes Another Week on Shower Shelf
WESTWOOD—After being grabbed, shaken, and put back for the twelfth consecutive shower, an empty bottle of Pantene conditioner has managed to last another week on […]
Student Risks It All, Assumes Summer Job Does Not Require Drug Test
WESTWOOD—In a display of recklessness last Sunday, second year Geography and Environmental Studies major Michaela Watkins risked it all and assumed that her upcoming summer […]
Freshman’s Sex Playlist Just The Weeknd
WESTWOOD—Sources report that freshman Brian Clements has finished up curating his sex playlist consisting solely of songs by popular R&B artist, The Weeknd. “He has […]
Study: Lululemon Attire Also Good For Doing Yoga
WESTWOOD—A new study performed by the UCLA Sports Medicine Center recently confirmed that the popular “athleisure” clothing produced by Lululemon Athletica is also good for […]
UCLA to Eliminate Fraternities to Help Achieve Goal of Zero Waste by 2020
WESTWOOD—UCLA has just announced its plan to progressively eliminate fraternities within three years to help achieve its goal of zero waste by 2020. “It just […]
Student Still Thinks Next Quarter Will Be Better
WESTWOOD — Despite years of experience suggesting otherwise, third year political science major Gianna Palos still thinks next quarter will be better. “I’m really going […]
Student Unsure Which Profession She Wants To Grow To Hate Over Next 40 Years
WESTWOOD—Overwhelmed by the excessive quantity of tedious and inconsequential career paths available to her, biology major Yasmine Adar announced she was unsure what profession she […]
Weak, Lazy Pre-Med Prioritizes Sleep
WESTWOOD–In a statement released last Thursday, second year physiological science major, Jonathan Michaelson, confirmed that he does indeed value sleep more than some academic endeavors. […]