Opinion: My Scooby Doo Costume Is Not “Inappropriate,” My Balls Are Supposed To Hang Out Like That
I am absolutely sick and tired of everyone asking me the same question. I’ve walked around this party all night trying to make pleasant, simple […]
Culture
Spooky! Computer Science Student Dresses Up As Woman To Scare Classmates
WESTWOOD — In the spirit of Halloween, third-year computer science student Andrew Hawkins plans to dress up as a woman, which would be his peers’ […]
Opinion: The Pope Isn’t As Hot As My Dad
VATICAN CITY — How many times do I have to say this? Pope Francis isn’t the hottest old white guy out there! Every freaking time […]
Psychology Professor Denies Mental Health Related Extension
WESTWOOD — On Tuesday evening, UCLA Professor of Psychology Dr. Janice Smith denied her student’s request for a mental health related extension on her final […]
Second-Year Reverses “Blue Lives Matter” Stance After Receiving Minor In Possession Citation
WESTWOOD — Second-year business economics student Cassie Duvall recently reversed her support for the Blue Lives Matter movement after receiving a citation on Thursday evening […]
New Disney Film to Include Studio’s 25th First Gay Character
BURBANK — In a promotional interview for the Walt Disney Company’s newest animated feature, Encanto, CEO Bob Chapek revealed that the film would include the […]
UCLA Doubles Down On “Zero Waste 2020”
WESTWOOD — On Tuesday, Chancellor Gene Block reaffirmed in an address to the university that UCLA will be waste-free by 2020. “Although we are well […]
Sorry Professor! My Dog Ate My Daily Symptom Survey
WESTWOOD — Oops! Fourth-year Leila Bandowitz informed her professor this morning she does not have her daily symptom survey due to her dog’s appetite for […]
Room Temperature Tap Water Sends Student Into Anaphylactic Shock
WESTWOOD — Third-year English student Cody Carter was rushed to Ronald Reagan UCLA Medical Center on Friday after sipping room temperature tap water that he […]
Only Time Student Pays Attention to Tell Professor Mic Not Working
WESTWOOD — Second-year biology major Jennifer McGonnifer unmuted herself during a Zoom lecture on Wednesday to tell the professor his audio was not working, although […]