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Culture

New Documentary Reveals Existence Of Secret Fourth Beatle

December 4, 2021 Dylan Wood 0

LIVERPOOL — In stunning never-before-seen footage, the new documentary “The Beatles: Get Back” appears to suggest the existence of a previously unknown fourth member of […]

Gene Block Re-Releases 8 Clap (10 Minute Version)

December 3, 2021 Hanna Barlow 0

WESTWOOD — Following UCLA football’s victory over USC, Gene Block has re-released a 10 minute version of UCLA’s 8 clap. “Stream now on Spotify, Apple […]

Thanksgiving Dinner Ruined By Grandpa’s Politics, And His Musty Fucking Breath

November 26, 2021 Robi Chatterjee 0

HOME — Grandpa Max ruined his family’s annual thanksgiving dinner by bringing up his insensitive antiquated politics and by having really smelly breath. “I think […]

Macy’s Thinks It’s About Time Deadbeat Nordstrom Hosts Parade For Once

November 25, 2021 Billie Chang 0

NEW YORK CITY — In a statement given Thursday morning, Macy’s reaffirmed its displeasure with having to throw the annual Thanksgiving Day parade, calling upon […]

Thanksgiving Renamed To White Thursday

November 25, 2021 Enabler Staff 0

WASHINGTON — In the spirit of color coordination and honoring our colonial past, the White House has announced that Thanksgiving will be renamed White Thursday. […]

“It’s Giving: Thanks,” And Other Hip Phrases To Win Over Your 13-Year-Old Cousin At Thanksgiving

November 24, 2021 Hanna Barlow 0

It’s almost time for Thanksgiving, which means a well-deserved respite from the quarter system: going home, eating delicious food, and reflecting on the plethora of […]

Skater Decides Walking Would Have Looked Way Cooler Than Wiping Out On Bruin Walk

November 23, 2021 Robi Chatterjee 0

WESTWOOD — After wiping out on Bruin Walk, skater Ken Bone decided he would have looked a lot cooler if he had walked instead. “At […]

Goldman Sachs Recruiters Use Picture Of Female Employee Twice On Diversity Slide

November 15, 2021 Stella He 0

NEW YORK — This past week, recruiters at a Goldman Sachs information session were caught using the same image of a woman twice on a […]

Hentai Enthusiasts Sue “Squid Game” Creators For False Advertisement

November 8, 2021 Dylan Wood 0

LOS ANGELES — In a suit filed Monday, fans of the Japanese art form known as “hentai” alleged that streaming company Netflix had engaged in […]

Opinion: Your Sleeping Roommate Doesn’t Matter

November 4, 2021 Anonymous Roommate 0

You’ve woken up bright and early. 7:50 am on a Tuesday. You cast a glance at your smug roommate in their fortress of fluff. A […]

Posts pagination

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  • UCPD Enlists California Highway Patrol to Boost Middling Police Violence Rates

    WESTWOOD — Following weeks of peace and safety on campus, UCPD has announced a partnership with the California Highway Patrol in an attempt to restore […]

  • Opinion: To Solve UCLA’s Financial Challenges, We Must Invest More Money Into Israel

    Hey guys. Westwood Enabler opinion writer Oiluj Knerf here. I’m a UCLA student just like you! I love my friends, I love my classes, and […]

  • UCLA Administration Goes On Strike to Protest AFSCME

    WESTWOOD — This past week, UCLA administration has bravely taken to the streets to protest the injustices committed by the “pesky” AFSCME labor union. “It’s […]

  • Winter Quarter Offers Every Goddamn Class But The Ones You Need For Your Degree

    WESTWOOD — UCLA recently announced a bold new plan to offer every single class for Winter 2026– except for the ones you need to graduate […]

  • Japanese Newborn Named Hernández Kiké

    KOBE, JAPAN — In response to the wave of Latino infants being named after Japan’s cultural exports such as Goku and Roki Sasaki, Japanese sports […]

Featured Authors

Grace McIntyre
  • UCLA Opens “B-ruining Lives” Resource Center For Student Anti-Wellbeing
  • Opinion: If You A Stressed Baddie Who Procrastinated Before Canvas Went Down, This One’s For You
  • A Letter To Prospective Student Tour Groups: I’m Better Than You
Zach Fischer
  • Backpacking Club Announces Trip To Public Affairs Building
  • UCLA Administration Goes On Strike to Protest AFSCME
  • Economists Worried As Daylight Savings Runs Out

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