It’s almost time for Thanksgiving, which means a well-deserved respite from the quarter system: going home, eating delicious food, and reflecting on the plethora of blessings in your life. Unfortunately, it also means arguing with your racist uncle and, even worse, trying to bond with his Tik Tok obsessed, 13-year-old kid. We know you’re too busy writing papers and studying for finals to stay up-to-date with the latest trends, so we’ve got your back, bestie. Here are four phrases to show your cousin you are lit af!
It’s Giving: Thanks
Whip this one out to immediately showcase your epic vibes and hip demeanor. No one makes judgments faster than a 7th grader—so act quickly. And maybe also dab?
Hey girlboss, could you please pass the mashed po-slay-toes and bae-vy?
We are certain your cousin will warm up to you as soon as you display such clever witticisms and culturally relevant word play. Guaranteed brownie points if you also tell them they are “absolutely serving” as they hand you the food.
Damn, it’s brutal out here.
For best use, bring this one out as soon as your uncle starts screaming that the booster shot is micro-chip ridden. Olivia Rodrigo is a queen and bestie to young people everywhere and a great way to dissolve political tension. If you can get your cousin to interrupt their racist dad in order to explain the Joshua Bassett, Olivia Rodrigo, and Sabrina Carpenter love triangle, well Good 4 U!
Shut up you pizza-faced rat.
This one is a last resort, in case your cousin turns on you, calling you a simp or asking why you still don’t have a boyfriend. Pray it never comes to this, doing whatever it takes to ensure that the fam’s vibes remain chill until it’s time for Black Fri-Slay.