Bomb Shelter Subway Whistleblowers Gone Missing
WESTWOOD — Several whistleblowers who spoke up about price gouging and moldy ingredients at the Bomb Shelter Subway have recently been reported missing. “For so […]
Articles by Dana Badii
Charli xcx And Troye Sivan To Host Sweat Tour At CS31 Lecture
WESTWOOD — Charli xcx and Troye Sivan have announced one of the stops on their mutual Sweat Tour will be at the sweatiest venue in […]
UCLA Housing x ResLife Presents: Roachella
WESTWOOD — With music festival season well underway, UCLA Housing is collaborating with ResLife for their own spin on Coachella: Roachella. “Ticket prices range from […]
Inspiring! Octopus Finally Isn’t The Drummer In This Undersea Band
UNDER THE SEA — Breaking 500 million years of evolution and tradition, Squillie Cephalopod will be making history by taking the stage at Conchshella Weekend […]
Opinion: Being A DJ Was Too Hard, See You In Class
When I first got in the studio, I thought I was set for life. No more MyUCLA, no more Death Stairs to climb, no more […]
Sunset Village Cats Revealed to Be Government PsyOp
WESTWOOD – The beloved Sunset Village cats Tux and Callie were removed from their den at Delta Terrace today due to their links to the […]
Fat Sal’s Goes On Ozempic
WESTWOOD — In an attempt to rebrand as a skinny queen, Fat Sal’s is saying bye-bye to grease and hello to semaglutide in its famous […]
Communal Bathrooms Now Only Accessible Through Mobile Order
WESTWOOD — With the resounding success of equipping every dining hall with mobile ordering, UCLA Housing is now seeking to digitize communal bathroom use. “We […]
Botanical Garden Turtle Confesses: Your First Date Was Cringe
Hey buddy. It’s me, Grog. Yeah, the little turtle by the bridge who saw you walking through the botanical gardens with your date. Oh, you […]
White House Establishes Federal Holiday Honoring The Girls Trip Making It Out Of The Group Chat
WASHINGTON DC— President Biden, upon receiving word that Tammy from San Jose booked a vacation with her girlies an hour away to San Francisco, has […]