Sunset Village Cats Revealed to Be Government PsyOp

WESTWOOD – The beloved Sunset Village cats Tux and Callie were removed from their den at Delta Terrace today due to their links to the US Department of Defense. “They went up to visibly distressed students and sent subliminal messages through purring propaganda,” commented UCLA Housing head Casey Stone as they removed microphones from tuna treats. “From there, they would cutely lead students right to military sign up sheets. If we hadn’t thrown out Tux and Callie in time, they would have scratched Neuralink chips into our brains!” At press time, Tux and Callie were seen donning kitty-sized FBI uniforms while hacking into the UCLA mainframe.