Facebook Rant Strikes Perfect Balance Between “1984” References And Holocaust Comparisons

HUNTINGTON BEACH, CA — Herb Matthew reached the pinnacle of his Facebook career Tuesday, after his latest rant struck the perfect balance between references to the novel “1984” and Holocaust comparisons. “Well everyone, looks like it’s time to slap a yellow star on my chest. Big Brother wouldn’t let me eat at Benihana with the boys tonight just because my fake vaccine card is written in crayon,” wrote Matthew, who has not read “1984,” but did sleep through “The Boy in the Striped Pajamas” one time. “Then that commie waitress asked for my phone number for a loyalty card, and I drove over a pothole on my way home. It was so Orwellian!” At press time, Matthew was writing a post about the oppressive surveillance by his wife, who had kicked him out after finding “just a little bit” of porn on his computer.

About Gabby Bromberg 22 Articles
After watching Rachel Brosnahan pretending to be a Jewish comedian in The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel, Gabby thought someone should do that for real.