StockX Now Selling Insulin

DETROIT — The popular reselling website StockX has now added insulin to its vast catalog in what internet scalpers are calling the “sugar rush.” “My dad gave me like fifty grand to buy thirty barrels of the stuff,” says 17-year-old Teddy Krasinski, heir to the Chevron oil fortune. “I don’t even know what it does, but I keep raising the price and people keep buying it. I even had to pour a couple of barrels out because we were out of kegs at my kickback last weekend.” At press time, Teddy was seen buying out his competition at a local St. Jude Children’s Hospital.

About Milo Ellison 10 Articles
Hobby satirist turned published comedy extraordinaire.