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Opinion: Suck It, Pre-Meds! Now We’re All Going To Be Unemployed

It finally happened. Despite being so against equity and inclusion, Trump finally did something to level the playing field between you pre-meds and us humanities, […]
Roommate Unable To Clean Dorm Because Floor Is Lava

WESTWOOOD – In an emergency press conference inside your dorm today, your roommate announced they are unable to clean because the floor is lava. “I […]
Woke Mother Performs First Successful “Straight Conversion Therapy”

WEST HOLLYWOOD — On Tuesday, local woke mother Dorothy McBeal celebrated the results of months of grueling treatment as her first and only child finally […]
Skeletons In Closet Come Out
Supreme Court Brings Back Three-Fifths Compromise

WASHINGTON, D.C. — In a blockbuster 5⅗–2⅗ decision, the Supreme Court has ruled Section 2 of the 14th Amendment unconstitutional, effectively allowing states to declare […]

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Georgia McNeill

Antisemitism Is Over! Trump Administration Cuts Funding From Cancer Research
Top Four Ways To Come Out To Your Family So They Can’t Say No
Opinion: No, I Will Not Pie You On Bruinwalk, Please Don’t Involve Me In Your Fetishes

Top 5 UCLA Study Spots If You Don’t Need Outlets, Wifi, Tables or Chairs
Ashe Center To Offer Gender Affirming Computer Science Degrees
Local Centaur Divided Hot Dog Style

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