When I heard about Dance Marathon my first year at UCLA, I was absolutely thrilled. Thousands of people getting together in silly outfits raising money […]
NEW YORK – A recent analytical study performed by New York University has revealed that water is best served at the body temperature of your […]
UGANDA — Charles Masane, leader of the Righteous Liberation Army announced in a press release this morning that water will be discounted 20% this weekend […]
WESTWOOD—Charlotte’s Boutique, a store in Westwood, sold out of its entire stock of useless shit, sources confirm. The store, established in 2009, is frequented by […]
TOKYO — Protesters at the Japanese Cultural Cuisine Association’s annual food sampling last Thursday were shocked to learn that the animal they were fighting to […]
HOUSTON—Upon ordering a No. 3 combo meal at a local Wendy’s, area man Greg Myers was shocked when his polite request for “a small cup […]
WESTWOOD— In a recently-published study conducted by the University of California’s Data Glossary Analysis Forum (DGAF), 0% of undergraduate students enrolled at the Los Angeles […]
Dear Rachel, You’re filthy. The secrets you’ve poured into me send shivers down my spine. I ache for the day a prying friend of yours […]
Point We Should Colonize Mars By: Arthur Von Clarksburg Space is the final frontier. Much has been said about our distant horizon, the great manifest […]
ANN ARBOR, MI—After years of intensive research, the International Forum on Trigger Warnings (IFTW) have concluded their work, and have definitively stated that trigger warnings […]
Copyright © 2025 | WordPress Theme by MH Themes