Request For Water Cup Denied

A cup of water, waiting to be freely consumed.
A cup of water, waiting to be freely consumed.

HOUSTON—Upon ordering a No. 3 combo meal at a local Wendy’s, area man Greg Myers was shocked when his polite request for “a small cup for water” was denied by employee Charlene Colbert.

“No,” the hardball staff member reportedly said after Myers requested the aforementioned cup. “But you may upgrade your combo meal to include a medium soft drink if you’d like for only 49 cents more.”

The denied request represents a specific instance of the bureaucratic red tape many fast food chains now operate on. Patrons complain that they can no longer substitute french fries for apple slices, and it has become increasingly difficult to find a complementary toy that does not contain deadly levels of lead.

Reporters learned that never before had Myers been denied an opportunity to fill a cup with water from the soda dispenser. According to other eatery establishments, Myers is known to be a man of integrity and principle.

“He would never ask for a water cup and fill it with lemonade,” said local McDonald’s manager Flora Granger. “Greg just isn’t like that.”

At press time, Myers was seen eating his No. 3 combo meal in parched silence.

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