Google Maps Introduces “Avoid Wilshire” Route Option
LOS ANGELES—Google Maps introduced an update this week that allows drivers to opt for a route that avoids navigation through Wilshire Boulevard. “Originally, we tested […]
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Perfect Date Includes Trip To Hammer Museum, Diddy Riese
WESTWOOD– Last Sunday, first year female Stacy Peters was overheard in BPlate discussing her recent date with Brian Andrews, who took her to both the […]
Box Of Condoms Already Collecting Dust
WESTWOOD—After being secretly stashed in the bottom drawer of first-year English student Marvin Reynold’s desk, a box of Trojan condoms is reported to already be […]
Value of Ty Dolla $ign Depreciates After Bruin Bash
WESTWOOD — Following mass circulation of Ty Dolla $igns several weeks ago, Federal Reserve Board Chair Janet Yellen noted a significant decline in the monetary […]
7 Ways To Pretend You’re Productive So Your South Campus Roommate Won’t Hate You
Face it, you are OVER the awkward tension that has formed between you and your roommate. After weeks of ignoring their judgmental glances at the […]
Report: Small Joys Not As Good As Bigger, Better Joys
WESTWOOD—A recent report released by the UCLA Research Institute revealed that small joys are just not as good as bigger, better joys. “To give you […]
Cool Professor Wears Tie-Dye Shirt
WESTWOOD—Physics professor Alexander Grobin walked into class today wearing a tie-dye shirt, instantly cementing his status as the cool professor. “Grobin is just the coolest,” […]
POINT: Police Brutality Is A Systemic Issue That Must Be Addressed / COUNTERPOINT: Have You Seen That Video Of The Cop Giving People Ice Cream Cones?
Point Police Brutality Is A Systemic Issue That Must Be Addressed By: Matt Styles Half a century after the Civil Rights Movement, black people in this […]
Local Voter Starting To Suspect Trump Might Be Sexist
MINNEAPOLIS—Moments after a widely-publicized tape revealed a 2005 conversation in which Donald Trump boasted about assaulting women, local voter Andy Wilding reported that he was […]
How To Vote In The California Primaries
Voting season got your panties in a bunch? Never fear, The Westwood Enabler is here. Here are our top tips to make sure your vote matters. […]