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REPORT: English Major Still Can’t Spell Kerckhoff

November 5, 2022 Lily Kiamanesh 0

WESTWOOD — Fourth-year English major Lauren Ipsum shocked friends and classmates Tuesday when she spelled the campus landmark as “Kirkhoff,” “Kerkoff,” and “Kirckoff” within a […]

Opinion: The Anderson School Of Management Should Be Burned Down

October 12, 2022 Gillian Smith 0

WESTWOOD — Last week, I got lost in the Anderson School of Management. It wasn’t my fault! Each building is numbered. And lettered. And it […]

Local Woman Finally Decides To Settle Down And Adopt A Highway

June 20, 2022 Hanna Barlow 0

THE 101 — In an inspiring story out of Los Angeles, 32-year-old feminist Simone Hedrick has made the brave decision to finally settle down and […]

“It Rhymes with Schmivorce” And Four Other Ways To Break The News To Your Kids

May 17, 2022 Tatiana Davidson 0

It’s never easy to tell your kids that mommy and daddy are getting a divorce. Between the tears, the pleas for reconciliation, and a lawsuit […]

Student Offered $1 Million Grant After Sending Professor The Perfect Email

May 16, 2022 Lucas Humel 0

WESTWOOD — Sophomore biology student, Cindy Sheraton, is celebrating the opportunity of a lifetime after receiving the William F. Buckley Memorial Prize for an exceptional […]

Tom Holland To Play Timothée Chalamet In Upcoming Biopic

May 14, 2022 Harry Song 0

HOLLYWOOD — Marvel star Tom Holland has been confirmed to play Timothée Chalamet in the highly anticipated biopic, an announcement which follows the recent casting […]

Archaeologists Discover First Woman To Ever Put “Future Milf” In Her Tinder Bio

May 12, 2022 Blue Flood 0

WESTWOOD — A team of UCLA archaeologists announced Monday that, after years of digging, they have uncovered the first woman to ever write “future milf” […]

Mom Who Gave You Eating Disorder Has No Idea Why Everyone In Therapy These Days

May 10, 2022 Tatiana Davidson 0

LOS ANGELES — On Saturday evening, your mother who definitely gave you an eating disorder announced her disbelief at the number of your friends who […]

Generational Trauma? Mom Looks Kind Of Sad

May 9, 2022 Maya Chatrathi 0

HOME — Your mother was seen looking sad on Monday evening, leading family members to believe she was suffering from the impact of generational trauma. […]

Jack Nicholson Found Alive At 85

April 23, 2022 Dylan Wood 0

LOS ANGELES — According to various sources, Jack Nicholson, the actor best known for his roles in iconic films like The Shining and Chinatown, was […]

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