Pasadena Native Won’t Shut Up About NYC Mayoral Race
WESTWOOD — Despite never traveling east of Joshua Tree, second-year political science student and Pasadena native Callie West will not shut up about New York […]
Uncategorized
Economists Worried As Daylight Savings Runs Out
WALL STREET — With the last of daylight savings running out last night, some economists are fearing the worst. “Americans everywhere were already living paycheck […]
Jay Leno Arrested After Aiming Chin At Conan O’Brien At Oscars Afterparty
HOLLYWOOD — Vanity Fair’s 2025 Oscar Party dissolved into a state of panic after former Tonight Show host Jay Leno aimed his chin at fellow […]
Student Starves To Death After Rendez Burrito Preparation Took Too Long
WESTWOOD — Last Tuesday, first-year Labor Studies major Eleanor Rivera tragically passed away from starvation after her Rendezvous West chicken burrito took too long to […]
Heartbreaking: Newborn Really Named Kyle
JACKSONVILLE, FL — New “boy mom” Karen Shields recently shocked her Facebook friends by announcing the birth of her terribly named son, Kyle. “When my […]
The Enabler Reports: Zip It, Gamgam! America’s New Epidemic Of Lippy Elders
“I’ve fallen, and I can’t get up?” More like, “I’ve fallen, and I can’t SHUT UP!” Subtle disses by the frail hands of elders have […]
