How To Vote In The California Primaries

Don’t forget to vote!

Voting season got your panties in a bunch? Never fear, The Westwood Enabler is here. Here are our top tips to make sure your vote matters.

  • Make sure you were registered to vote by Monday.

  • If your grandfather could vote, so can you, but also if your grandfather couldn’t vote.

  • Make sure you get off r/SandersForPresident and actually vote.

  • Write your party affiliation on a seashell and hold it up to your ear to hear a list of polling places in your area.

  • All employees must wash their hands with soap and water before voting.

  • Your employers are required to give you two hours off to vote. However, as June 7 is a Tuesday, we suggest using this time to drop by Rubio’s for their half-price fish taco deal during lunch instead. If you have time left after that then yeah sure, vote, whatever.

  • Call your dad and ask who you should vote for.

  • Begin training a fox to deliver your absentee ballot. If you live overseas, teach it to swim.

  • High five your local VotemasterⓇ to ensure your vote gets counted.

  • If you’re able to figure out how to make America great again, you get to vote twice.

  • Remember, if you don’t get an “I voted” sticker your vote doesn’t count.

  • Laugh, because you apparently think your vote makes a difference.