“Radioactive” And 4 More Songs To Add To Your Gaming And/Or Sex Playlist
Hey guys, Harry from the Enabler here. If there are two things I was put into this world for, it’s video games and sex. After […]
Relationships
“Do You Want To Feel My Stress Hives?” And Other Exciting Conversation Starters To Get Out Of Working On Your Group Project
This fun icebreaker is sure to create a sense of camaraderie among the group members as well as make those bitches realize they need to […]
Uggo Alert! TA Not Hot Enough To Justify Attendance
WESTWOOD — UCLA student Brad Eckel-Honesty decided against regularly attending discussion this quarter after his TA was revealed to be a full-on uggo. “Looking at […]
UCLA Adds Rizzonomics Major
WESTWOOD — UCLA’s College of Letters and Sciences announced a new Rizzonomics major for the 2023–2024 academic year this week, which has the campus community […]
Trend Watch: Divorce!
After a glorious 20-year run, US divorce rates are back down to historic lows. Come on, people! What are we doing? The United States is […]
Gay Man Gets Regular Married
HOLLYWOOD — Gay area man Andy Spencer and his husband recently pushed the envelope by choosing to get regular married. “We had to look at […]
Opinion: How I Get So Much Volume In My Hair I Can’t Hear My Roommate Face-Timing Her Boyfriend
Step 1: I take a shower. This gives me an excuse to avoid hearing my roommate cycle through pet names for her five foot eight […]
Frat Member Changes Ways Thanks To Everfi Title IX Training
WESTWOOD — Sigma Alpha Epsilon member Tanner Hunter has changed his ways after completing the Winter 2023 Everfi Title IX training. “I wasn’t going to […]
Sexual Tension Alert! Neighbor Arrives At Apartment Door Same Time As You Do
FLOOR 4 – Late Tuesday night, third-year Chemistry major Carly A. Ptraction found herself arriving at her apartment at the exact same time as her […]
Breaking: Woman Scorned
HOLLYWOOD — The fires of hell could not compare to the fury of area woman Maria Cooper when she discovered her husband’s infidelity. “That ugly, […]