Gay Man Gets Regular Married

HOLLYWOOD — Gay area man Andy Spencer and his husband recently pushed the envelope by choosing to get regular married. “We had to look at a lot of foul, FOUL sepia-tone Pinterest boards. We put ‘no beanies’ in the dress code and even had a bridal shower. I walked down the aisle to Ed Sheeran for this bit,” said Spencer, who thought that he could avoid the wedding seeming like internalized homophobia if it was campy. “We thought that maybe if we did everything straightly, the older people in the audience that my mom insisted on inviting might not notice it was a gay wedding.” At press time, the judgemental old people had left, and the grooms had commenced their real, fruity nuptials, which slayed.