Syllabus Says 95% Of Grade Determined By How Smart You Sound Introducing Self To Class
WESTWOOD — Most students in Professor McDugal’s course on negotiation were horrified to learn that 95% of their grade would be determined by how smart […]
Campus
BREAKING: Everyone Who Commented “pls admit me” On UCLA’s Instagram Was Just Accepted
WESTWOOD — In a ground-breaking decision, the Board of Admissions at UCLA has accepted all undergraduate applicants who commented a message akin to “pls admit […]
Gone But Not Forgotten… Wait Nevermind, Who Is This?
WESTWOOD — The whole campus came together today to mourn the recent passing of… well, we are not quite clear on that. “It’s hard to […]
Campus Squirrels Form Paramilitary Unit
WESTWOOD — After years of pizza, quesadilla, and donut thievery, UCLA’s campus squirrels have militarized in order to obtain junk food more easily. “Ever heard […]
Welcoming Our New Vice Chancellor Of Buttfuck Nothing
Dear Bruin Community: It is with pleasure that I inform you that Hankk Smiggly will be joining the UCLA team as our new Executive Vice […]
Body-Positive Man Removes Height from Tinder Bio
WESTWOOD — UCLA’s dating app scene made an historic push toward body positivity Tuesday, when 6’2 third-year Brant Jacobs removed his height from his Tinder […]
Westwood Neighborhood Council Votes To Add More Vacant Pits
WESTWOOD — Citing an uncharacteristic lack of gaping holes in the ground, the Westwood Neighborhood Council voted Friday to add more vacant pits to the […]
Breaking: UCLA Has A Women’s Basketball Team, Too!
WESTWOOD — Undercover journalists for the Daily Bruin’s sports desk have unearthed information suggesting that UCLA has a women’s basketball team that also wins games […]
UCLA Confesses Most Philosophy Professors Have Several Hundred Page Manifesto
WESTWOOD — Amid a push for increased transparency with the student body, UCLA has confessed that almost all of their philosophy professors have several hundred […]
Rowing Team Wins Diversity Award, As Many As Two Minorities Represented
ORANGE COUNTY, CA — A local rowing club took home the top prize in USRowing’s diversity awards this week in recognition of their melting pot […]