Freshman Breaks Off Long Distance Relationship With Mom
WESTWOOD— Freshman Joe Maman made the tricky decision Monday morning to break things off with his long-distance mother. “She wants to call me every day […]
Campus
BREAKING: Daily Bruin Member Cracks Joke
WESTWOOD — Did you feel an earthquake last night? That was the world shifting as Garrett Smurp became the first Daily Bruin member in the […]
REPORT: English Major Still Can’t Spell Kerckhoff
WESTWOOD — Fourth-year English major Lauren Ipsum shocked friends and classmates Tuesday when she spelled the campus landmark as “Kirkhoff,” “Kerkoff,” and “Kirckoff” within a […]
UCLA Unveils New “Just Eat The Fucking Soil” Meal Plan
WESTWOOD — UCLA Dining announced its new “Just Eat The Fucking Soil” meal plan Thursday, which permits students to consume the dirt on campus. “If […]
Opinion: I Don’t Need A Halloween Costume If I’ve Never Truly Been Myself
I love October. Changing leaves on every tree, pumpkins on every stoop, and Trader Joe’s butternut squash mac and cheese in every student’s freezer. But […]
Fraternity Announces Only Moms Are Invited To Party This Weekend
WESTWOOD — Your mom and dad just called, and they’re coming to visit you for Parents’ Weekend. Unfortunately for you, it’s also Halloweekend: arguably the […]
UCLA Diverts Money From CAPS For New Affirmations Menu At B-Plate
WESTWOOD— UCLA has diverted funds from Counseling and Psychological Services to launch a new data-driven affirmations menu at B-Plate. “When our 2019 collab with Beyonce […]
Professor Requiring Students To Purchase Her Divorce Memoir
WESTWOOD — Students in Professor Carol Williams’ Chemistry class were dismayed to learn Tuesday that 75% of their grade would consist of reading quizzes on […]
Area Dog Puts Human As Last Tinder Profile Picture
WESTWOOF — Local pup Daw Gee took to the streets Monday and made a Tinder for himself, making sure to put a shot of his […]
Punching Down: Short King Victims Speak Out
WESTWOOD — The tempers of Short Kings everywhere are at an all time medium today, as recent instances of vertically-motivated violence have given a much […]