BREAKING: Daily Bruin Member Cracks Joke

WESTWOOD — Did you feel an earthquake last night? That was the world shifting as Garrett Smurp became the first Daily Bruin member in the newspaper’s history to tell a joke. “I saw a trash can and something just clicked. I said, ‘Hey guys, that’s me.’ You had to be there,” said Smurp while watching Friends reruns and spitting out his drink every time Ross Gellar appeared on screen. “You know, I can’t really explain the mechanisms of jokes right now; I’m busy. Clearly.” At press time, Smurp was seen ironing his “Oxford Comma Appreciation Society” t-shirt.