WESTWOOD — Fourth-year English major Lauren Ipsum shocked friends and classmates Tuesday when she spelled the campus landmark as “Kirkhoff,” “Kerkoff,” and “Kirckoff” within a seven-minute text conversation. “Once you consider the faultiness of the English phonetic system and, of course, the Great Vowel Shift of the 1400s, I really can’t be blamed,” said Ipsum after her friend subtly spelled it correctly in a following text. “Through this nonstandard orthography I explore motifs of isolation, harmony, and chicken salad sandwich.” At press time, Ipsum was seen Googling “How to spell Publickh Affairs Building.”
About Lily Kiamanesh
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♅, or the staff writer formerly known as Lily Kiamanesh, is a psychobiology major in the class of 2024.