Seven Neat Ways To Actually MAKE Money This Holiday Season
Yes, it’s that time of year again! A time of joy and cheer, a time of love and family, and above all, a time of […]
Culture
Student Munches Lunch at Bunche
WESTWOOD — Imprudent third year theater student Daniel Dent munches crunchy lunch inside of Bunche. “I know it’s ambitious, and a bit suspicious, but my […]
Only Man In Gender Studies Class Raises Hand
WESTWOOD — In last Tuesday’s Introduction to Gender Studies discussion, Brock Price, a 6-foot tall football player, frat brother, and the only man in the […]
Op-Ed: SexyBack By Justin Timberlake Just Metaphor For Cold War
Yo, the name’s Justin Timberlake and I’m the creative genius behind the 2006 hit “SexyBack.” I’ve been called “the most talented artist of our generation,” […]
Local Man Not Nazi, Just Thinks Swastikas Look Cool
LOS ANGELES — In an unsolicited interview Friday evening, local WASP Luke Campbell adamantly refused any allegiance to the Third Reich, despite a prominent swastika […]
Dick Cheney Finds Unlikely Success as TikTok Star
CASPER, WY — Former Vice President Dick Cheney created an account on TikTok last week and credited Donald Trump as the inspiration behind his decision […]
Number of Acapella Groups Reaches Triple Digits
WESTWOOD — Local UCLA officials reported today that the number of campus acapella groups has reached triple digits, and shows no sign of slowing down. […]
Academy Accidentally Leaks Next Year’s “In Memoriam” Segment
LOS ANGELES — Members of the Academy of Motion Picture Arts and Sciences are attempting damage control following reports that next year’s Oscars “In Memoriam” […]
Area Man Googles “Kurd”
BUFFALO, NY — As the nation grapples with the Trump Administration’s decision to remove troops from Syria, area man Thomas Pitt took the drastic measure […]
Cole Sprouse Admits He Absorbed Third Sprouse Child In Womb
LOS ANGELES — Earlier this week during an informal interview inside of an Applebee’s, Cole Sprouse revealed that he absorbed his third brother, Sheldon, while […]