Girl On Self-Discovery Journey Has Yet To Discover She’s A Bitch
LOS ANGELES — After a full two and a half months, Sarah Myers has officially returned from “Sarah’s Self-Discovery Journey,” yet she did not seem […]
greek life
Fraternity Announces Only Moms Are Invited To Party This Weekend
WESTWOOD — Your mom and dad just called, and they’re coming to visit you for Parents’ Weekend. Unfortunately for you, it’s also Halloweekend: arguably the […]
UCLA Frat Issues Notes App Apology for Alleged Serial Sexual Assault
WESTWOOD — On Monday, a UCLA Fraternity was cornered into finally addressing their countless sexual assault allegations. Their method of addressing this serious issue was […]
“He’s Cuter In Person,” And Other Lies To Tell Your Friends About Him
Girly, we’ve all been there. You start talking to a new guy and you’re eager to gab with your girlfriends about this new potential mans […]
Opinion: I Went Undercover To Expose Frat Culture And I’m Having The Time Of My Life
WESTWOOD — When I arrived on the first day of rush, I was a man with a mission. It was my first time ever encountering […]
Goldman Sachs Recruiters Use Picture Of Female Employee Twice On Diversity Slide
NEW YORK — This past week, recruiters at a Goldman Sachs information session were caught using the same image of a woman twice on a […]
Instagram Blacks Out After Roebling Block Party
WESTWOOD — Millions were inconvenienced when Instagram drank excessively at the Roebling Block Party and was unable to come into work the following Monday. “Every […]
Woman Comfortable With Stranger’s Genitals In Mouth Doesn’t Eat Gluten
WESTWOOD — In a Westwood Enabler exclusive interview, third-year Rebecca Wright announced that she will be starting a gluten-free diet, although she plans to continue […]
Frat Boy’s Jokes About Hazing Getting Weirdly Specific
WESTWOOD – According to multiple sources, recent “jokes” made by first-year student and fraternity member Mark Prescott about the pledging process have become strangely specific. […]
SAE’s Christmas Lights Almost Impressive Enough to Make You Forget About Those Sexual Assault Allegations
WESTWOOD – In a dazzling display of holiday cheer, UCLA’s chapter of Sigma Alpha Epsilon (SAE) recently put up a Christmas decor ensemble that almost made […]