NEW YORK — This past week, recruiters at a Goldman Sachs information session were caught using the same image of a woman twice on a PowerPoint slide labeled “Diversity Matters at Goldman!” “I mean, they could be twins, right?” said Goldman Sachs public relations officer Sandy Clark, who won the 2019 Guinness World Record title for Most Corporate Issues Swept Under the Rug. “We care about diversity so much that we hired two diverse employees of the same kind. That’s more than what our neighbors across the [Wall] Street can say.” At press time, Clark was overheard on the phone dealing with the daily batch of workplace abuse allegations from white men who played beer die and “got hella shawties” during their college fraternity days.