High School “A” Student Excited to be College “A” Student
WESTWOOD — In a declaration made to her life sciences study group last week, first-year nursing student Amanda Stein made it clear that because she […]
Articles by Kylie Kinne
1/5 Dentists Agree Flossing For Little Bitch Boys
NEW YORK — The American Dental Association released a groundbreaking study this weekend which showed that while four out of five dentists agree that daily […]
Beto O’Rourke Legally Changes Middle Name To “Kickflip”
EL PASO, TEXAS — In an impromptu press conference held in a Whataburger restaurant yesterday morning, presidential candidate Beto O’Rourke announced that he had legally […]
Woman Comfortable With Stranger’s Genitals In Mouth Doesn’t Eat Gluten
WESTWOOD — In a Westwood Enabler exclusive interview, third-year Rebecca Wright announced that she will be starting a gluten-free diet, although she plans to continue […]
Bill Cosby Nominated To Supreme Court
WASHINGTON, D.C. — In a press briefing this morning from Washington, President Donald Trump announced his nomination of popular comedian and actor Bill Cosby to […]
Covel Voted Most Okayest Dining Hall
WESTWOOD — UCLA Dining reported this week that in a comprehensive poll of UCLA residents, students voted Covel the “most okayest” dining hall. “I don’t […]
This Class Actually Super Easy, Asshole Reports
WESTWOOD — Local asshole Kyle Logan reported this week that his Math 33A class is, in fact, “super easy.” “Honestly I don’t even try at all and […]
North Campus T.A. Growing Out Gross Beard
WESTWOOD — Philosophy 100A TA Mark Isaacs announced this week that he would be growing out a gross beard in the coming quarter. “As I […]
Cute! This Crafty Mom Taught Us Her DIY Methamphetamine Recipe!
BOISE — Boise, Idaho native and Mom-Extraordinaire Karen-Michelle Cooper sat down with the girls in our test kitchen to show us her fun, easy recipe for […]
Five Valentine’s Day Gifts That Say “I’ll Never Love You Quite Like I Loved Amy”
We’ve all been there–you want to get the perfect gift for your girlfriend to tell her exactly how you feel about her, but you’re just […]