Bill Cosby Nominated To Supreme Court

WASHINGTON, D.C. — In a press briefing this morning from Washington, President Donald Trump announced his nomination of popular comedian and actor Bill Cosby to the Supreme Court. “I have no doubt he will be confirmed—those sixty women have nothing!” Trump tweeted earlier today, referring to those dozens of women who have accused Cosby of sexual assault, including one account for which Cosby is now facing jail time. “They were all CONVENIENTLY unconscious or inebriated at the time of the SO CALLED incidents (they are very messed up women) and are being coached to lie by the Crooked Democrats!! They are all con artists!” Later, White House staffers were overheard contracting the Weinstein Company for the upcoming Trump 2020 campaign ads.

About Kylie Kinne 15 Articles
Kylie Kinne is a fourth-year physics major from San Antonio, Texas. When she’s not writing satirical news, she enjoys piña coladas, getting caught in the rain, and making love at midnight in the dunes of the cape.