Nation Wishes Warren Beatty Had Announced Presidential Election
LOS ANGELES — After Warren Beatty mistakenly announced the wrong winner of Best Picture at the Oscars, Americans around the country were heard wishing that […]
LOS ANGELES — After Warren Beatty mistakenly announced the wrong winner of Best Picture at the Oscars, Americans around the country were heard wishing that […]
WASHINGTON D.C. – Reporters from The Westwood Enabler called in to report that Press Secretary Sean Spicer had barred them from attending his off-camera Q&A […]
As the world’s most dangerous faggot™ I, Milo Yiannopoulos, have always strived to present the true and disturbing facts about the cancerous spread of third […]
WESTWOOD — Area man Justin Chang received a text on Friday evening while sitting at home and flipping between porn and Netflix, only to realize […]
WESTWOOD — Early this morning, young entrepreneur Brad Bates recently pitched his complete piece of shit business idea to his Finance class and, to the […]
ANN ARBOR, MI — Citing the profound uselessness and disrespectful behaviour of her son Brendan, local mother Ann Shapiro says that the nine year old […]
WASHINGTON, D.C. — In an address from the Oval Office today, President Donald J. Trump declared that he was instituting a ban on all facts […]
LOS ANGELES, CA — A mass grave erected in the middle of Brentwood was completed today, with an ornate tombstone dedicating the site to the […]
MILWAUKEE, WI—Cutting off her father as he started to praise the new President-elect, Amy Richardson began a detailed discussion of her sex life. “Hey Dad, […]
NEW YORK, N.Y.—Citing the the cast of Hamilton and their address to Mike Pence last night, Donald Trump today announced his plan to create safe […]
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