Racially Divided Town United By Shared Homophobia
BACKWATER, AL—Residents of Backwater, a small town in rural Alabama with deep racial divisions, have recently come together to celebrate their shared homophobia. “See, […]
BACKWATER, AL—Residents of Backwater, a small town in rural Alabama with deep racial divisions, have recently come together to celebrate their shared homophobia. “See, […]
WASHINGTON D.C.—Citing the vast overuse of their bodies for eating various foods, the nation’s forks are declaring a national crisis. “Frankly speaking, we’re just too […]
SANTA MONICA, CA—Lying curled in a fetal position upon the floor of his kitchen, area man Andrew Pacheco repeatedly declared sadness […]
SACRAMENTO, CA—Calling the passage of proposition 64 a “gift from heaven” and “the only thing keeping me fucking sane,” disaffected Californians all over the state […]
Every sinner has a chance to repent. I was a sinner, and I didn’t even know it. I lived every day of my life thinking […]
Madison, WI—Area man Joseph Peterson is dressing as a “Mexican cowboy” for Halloween, and plans to use the same costume for Cinco De Mayo next […]
SAN DIEGO, CA—Recent studies compiled by various mateys and seadogs have unanimously concluded that, despite the proposals made by hapless landlubbers, the sea is a […]
MALIBU, CA—Local white girl Lindsey Clayton totally understands where Black Lives Matter, the movement protesting police brutality against African Americans, is coming from, but she […]
WESTWOOD—Sources report that local special snowflake, Andrew Robinson, dislikes pizza. “Andrew is so unique,” Amir Ashraf, a friend of Robinson’s, said this morning. “He just […]
WESTWOOD—Physics professor Alexander Grobin walked into class today wearing a tie-dye shirt, instantly cementing his status as the cool professor. “Grobin is just the coolest,” […]
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