Antarctic Ice Cap Not Melting, Just Thinning
ANTARCTICA—Antarctica’s normally thick ice cap has been looking patchy lately, but the continent is sure that this receding ice line is not a sign of […]
ANTARCTICA—Antarctica’s normally thick ice cap has been looking patchy lately, but the continent is sure that this receding ice line is not a sign of […]
I’m sure by now you’ve all come to the conclusion I have, that the debate was a sham. Cheap Shot Lester Holt is a […]
CLEVELAND, OH—Citing his endless supply of expensive gifts including long distance RC helicopters and a mini TV, peers of Anthony Morega, a second grader at […]
WESTWOOD—Local cultural elite Arthur Chesterfield was reported to have liked William Shakespeare’s page on Facebook earlier today. “I just really think the English canon would […]
RALEIGH, NC—Transgender man Jim Hornet used a public restroom at a Chili’s in Raleigh this afternoon. “I work at an office supply company, and I […]
Point We Should Colonize Mars By: Arthur Von Clarksburg Space is the final frontier. Much has been said about our distant horizon, the great manifest […]
ANN ARBOR, MI—After years of intensive research, the International Forum on Trigger Warnings (IFTW) have concluded their work, and have definitively stated that trigger warnings […]
WESTWOOD — First-year English student Henry Bellows is definitely working on the Great American novel, sources close to him reported. “Oh yeah, he totally is,” […]
People of America, I have a message for you all. Stop being big fat meanie jerkfaces! It’s not fair! It was my turn to be […]
SAN QUENTIN, CA — Danny Feroz, a notorious California hitman convicted of 12 homicides, was stabbed to death in the cafeteria of San Quentin State […]
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