1. Rendezvous Lemonade
For such a pathetic lay like myself, squirt comes around just about as often as this drink. Also, much like the splash zones I’ve experienced, this drink may or may not be piss.
2.B-Plate Cranberry Spritzer
Better than crack. This refreshment is 50% foam, 50% Red 40, and 100% pleasure. There are few things that bring so much joy to my life like this wonderful concoction. Once you find a broad like this, you gotta put a ring on it.
3. Everything from The Drey
The horchata is free for a reason.
4. Epicuria Chamomile Tea
It puts me right to sleep and smells a little questionable, but it’s a real fan favorite. Though it burns my tongue from time to time, that’s just the cost of doing business.
5. De Neve “Water”
My Vietnam. Sometimes it has fucked up pH and leaves you a little lightheaded, but you just have to grin and bear it. No one’s really sure why it’s like that and we’re all a little scared to ask. Not FDA approved.