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Food

Five Reasons Why I Didn’t Ruin The Vibe By Throwing Up In De Neve

May 12, 2025 Gabe McNeill 0

1. De Neve is already De Nasty. Let’s be real here. Out of the three main dining halls, which would be the least bad to […]

5 Tips On How To Have A Jew-“ish” Passover Seder

April 20, 2025 Maddy Suddleson 0

1. Show up late. “Early” is on time, and “on time” is late? NAH! “On time” is as real as your aunt’s nose, and “late” […]

Westwood Celebrates Grand Opening Of Empty Storefront

March 11, 2025 Shayne Sweet 0

WESTWOOD — Last weekend, people lined up around the block for the grand opening of Westwood’s hottest new empty storefront. “When the family-owned restaurant that […]

Veggie Tales Films Season Premiere At B-Plate

February 7, 2025 Dana Badii 0

WESTWOOD — This winter, the hit Christian animated show Veggie Tales will be filming its season premiere at B-Plate. “We scouted everywhere in Hollywood for […]

Opinion: Stealing Is Morally Wrong Unless It’s From The Hilltop Shop

January 22, 2025 Gabe McNeill 0

The Hilltop Shop is essential to surviving on the Hill. Need laundry detergent? Cheeto Puffs? A month-old refrigerated sandwich? You go to the Hilltop Shop. […]

Westwood Spotlight: This One-Year-Old Restaurant Does Mexican Food The Expensive Way

January 18, 2025 Sam Rusk 0

LOS ANGELES — Westwood’s latest resident North of the Border Cantina and Grill opened the doors of its Le Conte location last Friday, serving up […]

Opinion: Bird Flu? Yeah, That’s What Their Wings Are For, Stupid

January 13, 2025 Ammi Lane-Volz 0

I Lived It: My Face Card Got Declined

December 2, 2024 Dana Badii 0

WESTWOOD – It’s 3:30, and I just got out of class to go to Kerckhoff Coffeehouse. It’s been a long day and I need my […]

“Let’s Have A Friendsgiving!” Says Friend Group Just As Dysfunctional As Your Family

November 27, 2024 Shayne Sweet 0

WESTWOOD — This morning, local friend and insane person Sam Man dropped a bombshell in the groupchat as he suggested that they all get together […]

USC Participates In Rivalry Week By Paying Dining Hall Workers Even Less

November 22, 2024 Olivia Maes 0

Posts pagination

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  • Julio Frenk Takes “Fuck the Police” Seriously, Last Seen Naked In Royce Hall

    WESTWOOD — After a recent protest marched up to Murphy Hall, home of the office of the chancellor, Julio Frenk decided to hear out the […]

  • “Counting To 10” And Other Woke Ideologies Sesame Street Is Using To Indoctrinate Your Kids

    Well, it’s official: President Trump has signed an executive order cutting funding to PBS. And thank the canonically white God, because the hit kids’ show […]

  • UCPD Relapses After Suffering Arrest Withdrawals

    WESTWOOD – Last night, UCPD relapsed in their ongoing addiction to arresting innocent students by violently swarming a movie screening and arresting two attendees. “The […]

  • UCPD Arrests Student For Thinking About Palestine

    WESTWOOD — UCPD officers reported that their week of sitting on their asses at Royce has finally proven useful as they arrested a passerby for […]

  • Man standing in a mirror maze, pointing to reflections of himself. He looks very bewildered.

    Other Idiots in Mirror Maze Going The Wrong Way

    HELL — Following a trip to the local mirror maze, resident genius Leon Noel scoffed at all the morons in there going the wrong direction. […]

Featured Authors

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Gabe McNeill
  • Five Reasons Why I Didn’t Ruin The Vibe By Throwing Up In De Neve
  • Opinion: They Should Let The New Pope Have Gay Sex Once So He Can See If It Should Still Be Banned Or Not
  • Other Idiots in Mirror Maze Going The Wrong Way
Sam Rusk
  • Ashe Center To Offer Gender Affirming Computer Science Degrees
  • Local Centaur Divided Hot Dog Style
  • Time Flies: 2005 Baby Officially Queer Elder

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