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Project 2025 Announces “Pussylight Savings Time” Forcing Women To Set Back Their Menstrual Cycle Each Fall

November 10, 2024 Azalea Morris 0

Washington, D.C. — Project 2025 has added an innovative new pillar of conservatism to reclaim our nation: “Pussylight Savings Time,” which will forcibly set every […]

Project 2025 Announces “Pussylight Savings Time” Forcing Women To Set Back Their Menstrual Cycle Each Fall

November 9, 2024 Azalea Morris 0

Washington, D.C. —  Project 2025 has added an innovative new pillar of conservatism to reclaim our nation: “Pussylight Savings Time,” which will forcibly set every […]

Democrat Who Confused Tuesday And Thursday Cost Kamala Harris The Election

November 7, 2024 Paige Reed 0

Opinion: Election Day Is Less Exciting Now That I’m Not In Eighth-Grade History Class

November 5, 2024 Sophie Criver 0

Picture this: It’s 2016, Harambe just died, an app called Musical.ly was taking the world by storm, and there’s one thing that everyone is asking: […]

Swing Voter Reports: Wheeee!

November 5, 2024 Shayne Sweet 0

The Westwood Enabler Endorses Joe Biden For President

November 4, 2024 Paige Reed 0

Most presidential elections are, at their core, about two different visions of America. This one is different. This election calls into question the very existence […]

Opinion: Athletes Should Only Ride Scooters If Their Team Has Won A Championship In The Past 10 Years

November 3, 2024 Fiona Ruane 0

You blink and they appear: a 250 pound, 6 foot 5 monster hurtling toward you with an empty, dog tagged backpack at 45 miles an […]

5 Halloween Looks That Scream “This Was Meant To Be A Couple’s Costume”

November 2, 2024 Shayne Sweet 0

When people ask, “Where’s pepper?” you can laugh and say, “She got tired of me being salty all the time!” Then start crying and kill […]

Uh Oh! Guy In Patrick Bateman Costume Getting Too Method

October 31, 2024 Maggie Kwan 0

WESTWOOD — Last weekend, partygoers at a consulting club fundrager agreed that second-year business economics major Alan Paul got a little too into his Patrick […]

Opinion: Fuhgeddaboutit

October 31, 2024 Maggie Kwan 0

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  • BPlate Announces Collab With McDonald’s To Ensure Froyo Machine Breaks More Often

    WESTWOOD – In a surprise new development, BPlate has announced a partnership with the fast food chain McDonald’s to ensure that the froyo machine remains […]

  • Government Shutdown Finally Hits Canvas

    WESTWOOD — Students everywhere awoke this morning to the modern equivalent of snow outside their windows: Canvas has been shut down due to bipartisan gridlock. […]

  • Opinion: If You A Stressed Baddie Who Procrastinated Before Canvas Went Down, This One’s For You

  • Friend Who Can’t Drive Way Too Invested In Formula One

    AUSTIN, TX — This weekend, second-year Mechanical Engineering major Diem Vee posted multiple photo dumps of himself trackside at the 2025 United States Grand Prix […]

  • Ask The Enabler: Is It Too Late To Cancel My Den Pass Refund?

    Dear Westwood Enabler, I bought a Den Pass to maximize my time at UCLA and to give my uncle yet another excuse to bet on […]

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Georgia McNeill
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Sam Rusk
  • Top 5 UCLA Study Spots If You Don’t Need Outlets, Wifi, Tables or Chairs
  • Ashe Center To Offer Gender Affirming Computer Science Degrees
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