Washington, D.C. — Project 2025 has added an innovative new pillar of conservatism to reclaim our nation: “Pussylight Savings Time,” which will forcibly set every woman in America’s menstrual cycle backward each fall. “The actions of liberal politicians in Washington have created a desperate need and unique opportunity for conservatives to start undoing the damage the Left has wrought on the female hole. With all of those eggs freely falling out each month, we’re falling dangerously behind on God’s plan to repopulate the Earth,” screeched Project 2025 director Kevin Roberts, moose knuckled up to high hell. “This brilliant new plan we’ve devised will put an end to the leaking and save our females’ valuable eggs for future months when abortion is not an option. Through novel vagina plunger technology, we will enforce egg retention by simply not allowing the eggs to leak out until the following month.” At press time, Roberts was seen driving out of a Planned Parenthood parking lot with his alleged mistress in the back seat.
