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Report: John Wooden Statue Sucks At Basketball

March 15, 2018 Jack Lyons 0

Administration In Turmoil: Rex Tillerson Was The Last Staffer Who Knew The White House Wi-Fi Password

March 14, 2018 Brian McReynolds 0

Unless you’ve been living under a rock for the past fourteen months, you know that the Trump White House has been an absolute mess. It […]

Powell Bathrooms To Require Multifactor Authentication

March 10, 2018 Pranay Hegde 0

WESTWOOD — In a press release late Thursday night, UCLA officials announced that mandated multifactor authentication would extend to the use of Powell Library bathrooms. […]

UCLA Hill Top Shop Announces It Will No Longer Sell AR-15s

March 10, 2018 Jack Lyons 0

Ambitious Political Science Major Adds Minor In Global Studies

March 10, 2018 Jack Lyons 0

WESTWOOD — Seeking to broaden his horizons and diversify his course curriculum, first-year political science major Adam Harper announced in an impassioned Facebook post this […]

Slow-Moving Spider Can No Longer Be Ignored

February 27, 2018 Ivan Chavez 0

LOS ANGELES — Area woman Susan Williams realized that she could no longer ignore the slow-moving arachnid on her bedroom wall on Tuesday afternoon. “Usually, […]

Area Woman Pleased With Number of Likes on Post About Social Media Cleanse

February 27, 2018 Anya Bayerle 0

LOS ANGELES — Amateur photographer Amber Allman was pleasantly surprised at the number of likes she received on her latest Instagram post declaring her indefinite […]

Cute! This Crafty Mom Taught Us Her DIY Methamphetamine Recipe!

February 27, 2018 Kylie Kinne 0

BOISE — Boise, Idaho native and Mom-Extraordinaire Karen-Michelle Cooper sat down with the girls in our test kitchen to show us her fun, easy recipe for […]

Five Valentine’s Day Gifts That Say “I’ll Never Love You Quite Like I Loved Amy”

February 14, 2018 Kylie Kinne 0

We’ve all been there–you want to get the perfect gift for your girlfriend to tell her exactly how you feel about her, but you’re just […]

Bruin Republicans Book Logan Paul

February 12, 2018 Jack Lyons 0

WESTWOOD — Bruin Republicans at UCLA announced today that they have partnered with conservative student group Turning Point USA to host disgraced YouTube personality Logan […]

Posts pagination

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  • Math Professor Doesn’t Know That Half Of Ten Weeks Is Five Weeks

    WESTWOOD — This week, local math professor Dr. Ivil has come under fire after scheduling a midterm for Week 4, a week that is definitively […]

  • Stolen Goods Stolen From Place With Exclusively Stolen Goods

    PARIS — Parisian police officers were stunned to discover this weekend that priceless jewels were stolen from the Louvre, a place that exclusively houses priceless […]

  • BPlate Announces Collab With McDonald’s To Ensure Froyo Machine Breaks More Often

    WESTWOOD – In a surprise new development, BPlate has announced a partnership with the fast food chain McDonald’s to ensure that the froyo machine remains […]

  • Government Shutdown Finally Hits Canvas

    WESTWOOD — Students everywhere awoke this morning to the modern equivalent of snow outside their windows: Canvas has been shut down due to bipartisan gridlock. […]

  • Opinion: If You A Stressed Baddie Who Procrastinated Before Canvas Went Down, This One’s For You

Featured Authors

mm
Georgia McNeill
  • Antisemitism Is Over! Trump Administration Cuts Funding From Cancer Research
  • Top Four Ways To Come Out To Your Family So They Can’t Say No
  • Opinion: No, I Will Not Pie You On Bruinwalk, Please Don’t Involve Me In Your Fetishes
Sam Rusk
  • Top 5 UCLA Study Spots If You Don’t Need Outlets, Wifi, Tables or Chairs
  • Ashe Center To Offer Gender Affirming Computer Science Degrees
  • Local Centaur Divided Hot Dog Style

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