With the death of Pope Francis, the first “woke pope,” the cardinals will soon enter conclave to pick the newest pontifex. I liked Pope Francis. […]
An open letter to everyone on Instagram who is about to go to Coachella this weekend: SHUT UP!!! SHUT UP!!! I DO NOT CARE!!! I’m […]
Your boyfriend’s a bitch!!!!!!!!! In case it wasn’t clear, here’s the difference between your boyfriend and a Golden Retriever: Your boyfriend is not an innocent […]
The only time I’ve ever been to Fat Sal’s was when I was either drunk or high out of my mind, which makes sense because […]
WESTWOOD — This morning, students all over campus had their peace interrupted by the biggest dweeb around asking if they knew what day it was. […]
5. John Wooden It’s no surprise that a man whose first and last names both mean penis is coming in hot on this list. John […]
Robots. One of the greatest and most attractive inventions ever thought up. They can help you with chores, they have superhuman strength, and best of […]
I see you, sitting there on some dating app. I know you desperately lingered in the Rocco’s line last weekend, hoping by the grace of […]
Fellas – I know midterms are tough. I know it’s so hard to feel romantic in these trying times. I know you straight up forgot […]
UCLA Greek life is undeniably captivating. During rush, inspired, I found myself at an impasse, deciding where I would fit in to all of this. […]
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