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Opinion

Student Offered $1 Million Grant After Sending Professor The Perfect Email

May 16, 2022 Lucas Humel 0

WESTWOOD — Sophomore biology student, Cindy Sheraton, is celebrating the opportunity of a lifetime after receiving the William F. Buckley Memorial Prize for an exceptional […]

“&$@!,” And Four Other Things You Really Shouldn’t Say

April 16, 2022 Robi Chatterjee 0

DO NOT SAY THE FOLLOWING. This is obviously a very crude word, why else would we censor it with random symbols? A$$ is a no-no […]

Gen Z Ultrasound Assistant Groans Every Time Baby Going To Be A Gemini

March 14, 2022 Melissa Beining 0

LOS ANGELES — Twenty-three year old perinatal assistant Jessica Fieldman groans every time an ultrasound predicts the baby will be a Gemini. “I just can’t […]

Facebook Rant Strikes Perfect Balance Between “1984” References And Holocaust Comparisons

February 8, 2022 Gabby Bromberg 0

HUNTINGTON BEACH, CA — Herb Matthew reached the pinnacle of his Facebook career Tuesday, after his latest rant struck the perfect balance between references to […]

Report: Your Neighbor Only Practices Trombone Because He Hates You

January 18, 2022 Gillian Smith 0

WESTWOOD — After careful consideration of the evidence, we’re certain that your neighbor- the one saved in your phone as “Angus from Apartment 216”- only […]

2,022 Things To Look Forward To In 2022

January 7, 2022 Robi Chatterjee 0

2021 has wrapped up and we are now in a new year. Change can be scary, so here is a list of 2,022 things that […]

4th Year Philosophy Student Incapable Of Producing Original Thought

December 29, 2021 Ryan Wu 0

WESTWOOD — After years of studying nothing but theory, fourth year Philosophy student Mark Li had to be informed that he was incapable of producing […]

Tasing Yourself In The Hamstring, And Other Bad Study Habits To Get Rid Of Before Finals

December 6, 2021 Robi Chatterjee 0

Finals are coming up, and there are so many terrible ways to study. To help you become the best version of yourself for finals season, […]

Opinion: I Went Undercover To Expose Frat Culture And I’m Having The Time Of My Life

November 29, 2021 Max Flora 0

WESTWOOD — When I arrived on the first day of rush, I was a man with a mission. It was my first time ever encountering […]

Student-Athletes Spotted Sleeping, Showering In UCLA-Branded Backpacks

November 18, 2021 Bella Dunham 0

WESTWOOD — Reports of student-athletes never taking off their black UCLA backpacks have been on the rise as campus has returned to in-person instruction. “No […]

Posts pagination

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  • Local Pizza Delivery Boy Shocked At Scantily-Clad Customer’s Lack of Money

    RANCHO MURIETA — A local pizza delivery boy faced a shock last night when he delivered to a scantily-clad woman who didn’t have the funds […]

  • UCPD Enlists California Highway Patrol to Boost Middling Police Violence Rates

    WESTWOOD — Following weeks of peace and safety on campus, UCPD has announced a partnership with the California Highway Patrol in an attempt to restore […]

  • Opinion: To Solve UCLA’s Financial Challenges, We Must Invest More Money Into Israel

    Hey guys. Westwood Enabler opinion writer Oiluj Knerf here. I’m a UCLA student just like you! I love my friends, I love my classes, and […]

  • UCLA Administration Goes On Strike to Protest AFSCME

    WESTWOOD — This past week, UCLA administration has bravely taken to the streets to protest the injustices committed by the “pesky” AFSCME labor union. “It’s […]

  • Winter Quarter Offers Every Goddamn Class But The Ones You Need For Your Degree

    WESTWOOD — UCLA recently announced a bold new plan to offer every single class for Winter 2026– except for the ones you need to graduate […]

Featured Authors

Grace McIntyre
  • UCLA Opens “B-ruining Lives” Resource Center For Student Anti-Wellbeing
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Zach Fischer
  • Backpacking Club Announces Trip To Public Affairs Building
  • UCLA Administration Goes On Strike to Protest AFSCME
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