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Opinion

Report: Your Neighbor Only Practices Trombone Because He Hates You

January 18, 2022 Gillian Smith 0

WESTWOOD — After careful consideration of the evidence, we’re certain that your neighbor- the one saved in your phone as “Angus from Apartment 216”- only […]

2,022 Things To Look Forward To In 2022

January 7, 2022 Robi Chatterjee 0

2021 has wrapped up and we are now in a new year. Change can be scary, so here is a list of 2,022 things that […]

4th Year Philosophy Student Incapable Of Producing Original Thought

December 29, 2021 Ryan Wu 0

WESTWOOD — After years of studying nothing but theory, fourth year Philosophy student Mark Li had to be informed that he was incapable of producing […]

Tasing Yourself In The Hamstring, And Other Bad Study Habits To Get Rid Of Before Finals

December 6, 2021 Robi Chatterjee 0

Finals are coming up, and there are so many terrible ways to study. To help you become the best version of yourself for finals season, […]

Opinion: I Went Undercover To Expose Frat Culture And I’m Having The Time Of My Life

November 29, 2021 Max Flora 0

WESTWOOD — When I arrived on the first day of rush, I was a man with a mission. It was my first time ever encountering […]

Student-Athletes Spotted Sleeping, Showering In UCLA-Branded Backpacks

November 18, 2021 Bella Dunham 0

WESTWOOD — Reports of student-athletes never taking off their black UCLA backpacks have been on the rise as campus has returned to in-person instruction. “No […]

Almost Getting Trampled, And Other UCLA Student Activities You Must Do Before Graduating

November 17, 2021 Hanna Barlow 0

With a hustlin’ and bustlin’ campus filled with over 30,000 undergraduate students, it can be hard to keep track of all UCLA has to offer, […]

Opinion: Dear UCLA Women’s Volleyball Team, Please Bully Me

November 16, 2021 Gillian Smith (number one fan) 0

WESTWOOD — An Open Letter to the Volleyball Team It all started when I saw you destroy the Washington Huskies last Sunday. Zoe Fleck, you […]

Frats Scramble To Start “One Tree For Every Nude” Trend On Instagram

November 10, 2021 Kylie Yamada 0

WESTWOOD — In light of the recent trend on Instagram where users share one pet picture in exchange for one tree planted, UCLA’s fraternities have […]

Opinion: Your Sleeping Roommate Doesn’t Matter

November 4, 2021 Anonymous Roommate 0

You’ve woken up bright and early. 7:50 am on a Tuesday. You cast a glance at your smug roommate in their fortress of fluff. A […]

Posts pagination

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  • Opinion: Suck It, Pre-Meds! Now We’re All Going To Be Unemployed

    It finally happened. Despite being so against equity and inclusion, Trump finally did something to level the playing field between you pre-meds and us humanities, […]

  • Roommate Unable To Clean Dorm Because Floor Is Lava

    WESTWOOOD – In an emergency press conference inside your dorm today, your roommate announced they are unable to clean because the floor is lava. “I […]

  • Woke Mother Performs First Successful “Straight Conversion Therapy”

    WEST HOLLYWOOD — On Tuesday, local woke mother Dorothy McBeal celebrated the results of months of grueling treatment as her first and only child finally […]

  • two skeletons kissing in front of a rainbow pride flag

    Skeletons In Closet Come Out

  • Supreme Court Brings Back Three-Fifths Compromise

    WASHINGTON, D.C. — In a blockbuster 5⅗–2⅗ decision, the Supreme Court has ruled Section 2 of the 14th Amendment unconstitutional, effectively allowing states to declare […]

Featured Authors

mm
Georgia McNeill
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  • Top Four Ways To Come Out To Your Family So They Can’t Say No
  • Opinion: No, I Will Not Pie You On Bruinwalk, Please Don’t Involve Me In Your Fetishes
Sam Rusk
  • Top 5 UCLA Study Spots If You Don’t Need Outlets, Wifi, Tables or Chairs
  • Ashe Center To Offer Gender Affirming Computer Science Degrees
  • Local Centaur Divided Hot Dog Style

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