
WESTWOOD — After years of studying nothing but theory, fourth year Philosophy student Mark Li had to be informed that he was incapable of producing an original thought. “It’s not my fault, all smart thoughts have been thought before. That’s from Goethe,” said Li after a minute of pure silence, broken only by the occasional soft clink of a singular brain cell bouncing around in his skull. “Besides, to think is to be, and I’ve been told that I am.” At press time, Li was reportedly pondering.