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Life

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How To Interact With Your Friends Who Are Already On Summer Vacation

May 21, 2017 Enabler Staff 0

Friends already on summer vacation? Ouch. Here’s how to masterfully achieve successful social interactions without letting your jealousy interfere. Leave a pathetic comment on a […]

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Cute! These Founding Fathers Tried To Create A Nation With No Demagoguery

May 21, 2017 Peter Carman 0

Are you ready for the most heartwarming story you’ve read all week? A group of Founding Fathers tried to create their very own nation, completely […]

What USAC Actually Stands For

May 13, 2017 Enabler Staff 0

Many have asked and many have conjectured – what does USAC truly stand for? It is a question we mouth whenever we are forced to […]

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Heartwarming: President Trump Has Donated His Entire Salary To Building A Big New Bomb That Goes “BOOM!”

May 1, 2017 Jack Lyons 0

Sometimes, beneath a rough exterior lies a heart of gold. United States President Donald J. Trump announced that he has donated his $400,000 salary to […]

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Exciting News: Hovering Over Public Toilets Proves To Be Most Effective Ab Workout

April 30, 2017 Salma Zaky 0

BEVERLY HILLS – A recent study has revealed that the most practical way to work out your abs is by hovering over public toilets. “Whenever […]

Top 8 UCLA Date Ideas

February 13, 2017 Enabler Staff 0

Still not sure how to impress your date on Valentine’s Day? Here are some ideas guaranteed to get you a “that was nice!” text afterwards. […]

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Big Win For Mouthfeel! This Merlot Is Tannic And Velvety

February 12, 2017 Jasmine Don 0

Good news, mouthfeel lovers! The Edna Valley 2013 Merlot is tannic and velvety. Its deep, chewy tannins and smooth, opulent body make for a wonderfully […]

Body Positivity! This 8th Grader Drew Boobs On His Chem Textbook

February 12, 2017 Jasmine Don 0

Despite major strides made by #FreeTheNipple and other gender equality campaigns, the female body is still constantly viewed as a sexual object. Though male and […]

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4 Guys Who Are Way Better Than Your Current Fiance

February 12, 2017 Jessica Waite 0

Oh my gosh! Looking for some eye candy? Boy, are we ready for you! Here’s a list of four guys who are way better than […]

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Inspiring: Version Of You In Parallel Universe Has Your Shit Together

November 20, 2016 Peter Carman 0

Finally, some good news: scientists and cosmologists have recently gotten together to confirm that in one of the infinite parallel worlds predicted by the multiverse […]

Posts pagination

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  • Trump Gives 15-Year-Old Girl Apology Smooch

    WASHINGTON, D.C. — Following new revelations about his relationship with Jeffrey Epstein, who he calls “the greatest pedophile of all time,” President Donald J. Trump […]

  • Democrats Advance Key Policy Goal of Strengthening Republican Party

    WASHINGTON, D.C. — Weeks of less-than-firm resolve paid off Wednesday as Democrats forged a shutdown-ending compromise that accomplishes one of the party’s longstanding goals: strengthening […]

  • Opinion: I Will Not Apologize For My Phony Indie Stache

    dear loyal followers, i address you today not by way of reselling my shart-stained 70s denim for $650 on grailed, or the carousel post of […]

  • Opinion: Rejecting Donald Trump From Art School Was A Bad Idea

    Rejecting Donald Trump from art school wasn’t the best idea. Listen, I know that Donald Trump’s art is absolute dogshit. Watching Donald Trump try to […]

  • Opinion: Halloweekend Was For Hot Girls But Veteransdaynight Is For Us Mediocre Bitches

    UCLA is full of beautiful, talented, funny, smart, and well-rounded women. I am not one of them. And that’s okay! I can clean the hell […]

Featured Authors

Grace McIntyre
  • UCLA Opens “B-ruining Lives” Resource Center For Student Anti-Wellbeing
  • Opinion: If You A Stressed Baddie Who Procrastinated Before Canvas Went Down, This One’s For You
  • A Letter To Prospective Student Tour Groups: I’m Better Than You
Zach Fischer
  • Backpacking Club Announces Trip To Public Affairs Building
  • UCLA Administration Goes On Strike to Protest AFSCME
  • Economists Worried As Daylight Savings Runs Out

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