4 Guys Who Are Way Better Than Your Current Fiance

Oh my gosh! Looking for some eye candy? Boy, are we ready for you! Here’s a list of four guys who are way better than your current fiance!

1. Rod


Meet Rod. Unlike your current fiance, Rod is a creative type with a passion for fashion. He cooks delicious vegan meals and has never been an Eagle Scout. His worldly travels include England, Spain, and wherever else he went on UCLA Travel Study. Rod is a UCLA graduate student currently studying Music Industry.

2. Damien

This is Damien. Damien currently works at a law firm, but still likes to go to concerts on weekends. Unlike your fiance’s family, Damien’s family is always warm and welcoming, and Damien has gone to great lengths to learn about his family’s culture. Hey, remember that time your fiance was unsure about what a zucchini was? Yeah, me too.

3. Eduardo

Say hello to Eduardo. Eduardo, who also goes by Eddie, has a great sense of humor. Unlike your current fiance, Eduardo has laughed before at a joke that wasn’t racist. Your fiance, on the other hand, once retweeted David Duke and said that it was totally fine and not racist. I’m pretty sure your fiance once made a comment about black on black crime. Jennifer, are you serious?

4. Daniel

Last but not least is Daniel. Daniel is a shitty Soundcloud rapper, but at least he can’t quote Donald Trump off the top of his head. Daniel has a lot of strange assumptions about cultures other than his own, but he’s capable of learning and not being a piece of shit. Jesus Christ, Jennifer. Your boyfriend once called you his hot tamale and slapped your ass in front of everyone at a party. Nobody was drunk. It was just uncomfortable. Then he made a comment about your tajin-encrusted vag. Please find someone better oh my fucking god, Jenn. Do not marry this man.

Jennifer, the gals and I, your bridesmaids, are begging you to reconsider. Your fiance is a piece of shit. Do you really want to bear his dumb as shit kids? Jenn. Jesus. We had so much hope for you. We kept saying “once she dumps him, then she’ll see. Then she’ll reach her full potential.” What happened, Jenn?

So there you have it! Four fabulous men who are way better than your current fiance. Still not sure you want to dump your man? Look again! These men are spicy!

About Jessica Waite 41 Articles
Jessica Waite is a 4th year Comparative Literature student who spends more time with her hamster than with other people. Her interests include animals (all), people (few), and social justice (80%).