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Articles by Trevor Willow

Op-Ed: John Wooden Statue Outside Pauley Pavilion Should Be Made of Wood

February 25, 2019 Trevor Willow 0

Every day during my walk down Bruinwalk from the Hill to campus, I see the statue of John Wooden outside Pauley Pavilion and look at […]

Legal Pad User Confident In Superiority To Rest Of Class

December 19, 2018 Carl Hatch 0

WESTWOOD — Last week, the entire Life Science 15 lecture hall watched in admiration as first-year student Trip McCoy distinguished himself as being head-and-shoulders above the […]

Vigilante Stonemason Makes Royce Hall Symmetrical

December 13, 2018 Carl Hatch 0

WESTWOOD – Campus tour guides were shocked last week when they reached the part of the tour at which they prompt guests to spot the […]

Study: Doodling on Pen and Paper Has Better Retention Than Doodling on Electronic Devices

November 23, 2018 Carl Hatch 0

WESTWOOD — A recent study has shown that those students who distract themselves in class by doodling on their electronic writing devices may be suffering […]

UCLA Radio Rejections Spur Return Of Doc Martens

November 18, 2018 Carl Hatch 0

WESTWOOD — Following UCLA Radio’s record low admission rate into their intern program three weeks ago, the Doc Martens company experienced a record high surge in […]

Computer Science Student Downloads Consciousness Into Computer To Master Curriculum

November 15, 2018 Carl Hatch 0

WESTWOOD — In fear of falling behind his peers, third year computer science student Edward Lu effectively turned himself into a computer yesterday before his midterm […]

Posts pagination

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  • UCLA Administration Goes On Strike to Protest AFSCME

    WESTWOOD — This past week, UCLA administration has bravely taken to the streets to protest the injustices committed by the “pesky” AFSCME labor union. “It’s […]

  • Winter Quarter Offers Every Goddamn Class But The Ones You Need For Your Degree

    WESTWOOD — UCLA recently announced a bold new plan to offer every single class for Winter 2026– except for the ones you need to graduate […]

  • Japanese Newborn Named Hernández Kiké

    KOBE, JAPAN — In response to the wave of Latino infants being named after Japan’s cultural exports such as Goku and Roki Sasaki, Japanese sports […]

  • Trump Gives 15-Year-Old Girl Apology Smooch

    WASHINGTON, D.C. — Following new revelations about his relationship with Jeffrey Epstein, who he calls “the greatest pedophile of all time,” President Donald J. Trump […]

  • Democrats Advance Key Policy Goal of Strengthening Republican Party

    WASHINGTON, D.C. — Weeks of less-than-firm resolve paid off Wednesday as Democrats forged a shutdown-ending compromise that accomplishes one of the party’s longstanding goals: strengthening […]

Featured Authors

Grace McIntyre
  • UCLA Opens “B-ruining Lives” Resource Center For Student Anti-Wellbeing
  • Opinion: If You A Stressed Baddie Who Procrastinated Before Canvas Went Down, This One’s For You
  • A Letter To Prospective Student Tour Groups: I’m Better Than You
Zach Fischer
  • Backpacking Club Announces Trip To Public Affairs Building
  • UCLA Administration Goes On Strike to Protest AFSCME
  • Economists Worried As Daylight Savings Runs Out

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