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Articles by Trevor Willow

Op-Ed: John Wooden Statue Outside Pauley Pavilion Should Be Made of Wood

February 25, 2019 Trevor Willow 0

Every day during my walk down Bruinwalk from the Hill to campus, I see the statue of John Wooden outside Pauley Pavilion and look at […]

Legal Pad User Confident In Superiority To Rest Of Class

December 19, 2018 Carl Hatch 0

WESTWOOD — Last week, the entire Life Science 15 lecture hall watched in admiration as first-year student Trip McCoy distinguished himself as being head-and-shoulders above the […]

Vigilante Stonemason Makes Royce Hall Symmetrical

December 13, 2018 Carl Hatch 0

WESTWOOD – Campus tour guides were shocked last week when they reached the part of the tour at which they prompt guests to spot the […]

Study: Doodling on Pen and Paper Has Better Retention Than Doodling on Electronic Devices

November 23, 2018 Carl Hatch 0

WESTWOOD — A recent study has shown that those students who distract themselves in class by doodling on their electronic writing devices may be suffering […]

UCLA Radio Rejections Spur Return Of Doc Martens

November 18, 2018 Carl Hatch 0

WESTWOOD — Following UCLA Radio’s record low admission rate into their intern program three weeks ago, the Doc Martens company experienced a record high surge in […]

Computer Science Student Downloads Consciousness Into Computer To Master Curriculum

November 15, 2018 Carl Hatch 0

WESTWOOD — In fear of falling behind his peers, third year computer science student Edward Lu effectively turned himself into a computer yesterday before his midterm […]

Posts pagination

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  • Antisemitism Is Over! Trump Administration Cuts Funding From Cancer Research

    WESTWOOD — After the Trump administration justified cutting research funding to UCLA by citing concerns of antisemitism, Jews and Gentiles alike were shocked when the […]

  • Opinion: Suck It, Pre-Meds! Now We’re All Going To Be Unemployed

    It finally happened. Despite being so against equity and inclusion, Trump finally did something to level the playing field between you pre-meds and us humanities, […]

  • Roommate Unable To Clean Dorm Because Floor Is Lava

    WESTWOOOD – In an emergency press conference inside your dorm today, your roommate announced they are unable to clean because the floor is lava. “I […]

  • Woke Mother Performs First Successful “Straight Conversion Therapy”

    WEST HOLLYWOOD — On Tuesday, local woke mother Dorothy McBeal celebrated the results of months of grueling treatment as her first and only child finally […]

  • two skeletons kissing in front of a rainbow pride flag

    Skeletons In Closet Come Out

Featured Authors

mm
Georgia McNeill
  • Antisemitism Is Over! Trump Administration Cuts Funding From Cancer Research
  • Top Four Ways To Come Out To Your Family So They Can’t Say No
  • Opinion: No, I Will Not Pie You On Bruinwalk, Please Don’t Involve Me In Your Fetishes
Sam Rusk
  • Top 5 UCLA Study Spots If You Don’t Need Outlets, Wifi, Tables or Chairs
  • Ashe Center To Offer Gender Affirming Computer Science Degrees
  • Local Centaur Divided Hot Dog Style

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