Students, Viruses Enjoy Return to Campus
WESTWOOD — The UCLA community, and the UCLA virus community lying dormant in students’ bloodstreams, began its return to campus this week with excitement. “It […]
WESTWOOD — The UCLA community, and the UCLA virus community lying dormant in students’ bloodstreams, began its return to campus this week with excitement. “It […]
LOS ANGELES — Public health officials clapped when local restaurant Joe’s Burgers, already having replaced its paper menus with QR codes, doubled down on safety […]
WESTWOOD — On Friday evening, local ‘woke’ man and third-year global studies major Jack Stoop prefaced oral sex with an acknowledgement that we are on […]
WASHINGTON, DC — In what can only be described as a heartwarming break from the nation’s political drama, sources confirmed Monday that every morning Joe […]
MILKY WAY — The solar system announced Saturday that it had really had enough of planning third-year psychology major Natalie Jones’s next downward spiral. “People […]
FRAT ROW — Multiple eyewitness accounts came in last Thursday outside of Chi Alpha Theta regarding the romantic events of the thriving party inside. “Yeah, […]
WESTWOOD — Following UCLA football’s victory over USC, Gene Block has re-released a 10 minute version of UCLA’s 8 clap. “Stream now on Spotify, Apple […]
WESTWOOD — Millions were inconvenienced when Instagram drank excessively at the Roebling Block Party and was unable to come into work the following Monday. “Every […]
LOS ANGELES — Following the rise in popularity of TikTok among social media users across the world, local man Matt Mackers shrugged and told reporters […]
FORT WORTH, TEXAS — Oil tycoon and aspiring activist, Richard Johnston III, issued a press release Thursday promoting the environment-saving potential of switching to Impossible […]
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