Study: Trigger Warnings Are Totally Gay
ANN ARBOR, MI—After years of intensive research, the International Forum on Trigger Warnings (IFTW) have concluded their work, and have definitively stated that trigger warnings […]
ANN ARBOR, MI—After years of intensive research, the International Forum on Trigger Warnings (IFTW) have concluded their work, and have definitively stated that trigger warnings […]
WESTWOOD — A team of sociologists from UCLA, working in conjunction with distinguished scholars from the University of Washington and Saint Mary’s College, have concluded […]
WESTWOOD — First-year English student Henry Bellows is definitely working on the Great American novel, sources close to him reported. “Oh yeah, he totally is,” […]
People of America, I have a message for you all. Stop being big fat meanie jerkfaces! It’s not fair! It was my turn to be […]
LOS ANGELES— Notoriously Pretty Celebrity was noticeably less pretty than usual today when she emerged from Cedars-Sinai Medical Center after giving birth to twins. “While […]
SAN QUENTIN, CA — Danny Feroz, a notorious California hitman convicted of 12 homicides, was stabbed to death in the cafeteria of San Quentin State […]
LOS ANGELES — Local woman Evita Jacobs confirmed last Friday that the bag of pita chips she had purchased was just an excuse to eat […]
WESTWOOD—Allegations of widespread discrimination favoring harder-working students in the University of California system arose Monday. “Not only are certain students more likely to get higher […]
WESTWOOD—After several moments of deep, pensive internal debate, local woman Ann Campbell has decided that right now, with a red light and several pedestrians blocking […]
LOS ANGELES — Citing the incredible variety of smooth jazz that she heard while on hold for nearly 45 minutes today, local woman Susan Foreman […]
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