WASHINGTON, D.C. — Citing Congress’s inability to pass bipartisan legislation, President Barack Obama wrote an unfavorable review of the governing body on Yelp Saturday, giving it a two-star rating. “Service is always slow, the House and Senate leadership can be quite difficult to deal with, and by the time they bring me my bill, it’s never what I ordered and I just end up having to veto it,” wrote the President, who had to wait nearly seven years for approval of his healthcare bill, which he claims is a rather simple order. “One day I tried to go to Congress and they were closed—they left a note on the door saying, ‘shut down for the week.’ That’s terrible service—all I needed were take-out disaster relief funds for a hurricane. They did give me my trade bill fairly quickly, though, so that’s worth a couple stars.” At press time, members of Congress were too busy attempting to shut down Planned Parenthood, collectively bringing their Yelp rating down to one star.
About Jack Lyons 68 Articles
Area Man. Freelance fraternity president. Aspiring father of two. Probable future Nobel laureate. Occasionally collude with Russia.