The Westwood Enabler
  • Home
  • News
    • Campus
    • National
    • International
  • Opinion
  • A&E
  • Sports
  • Graphics
    • News In Pictures
    • Infographics
  • Life
  • About
    • Staff
    • Join
    • Contact

Month: November 2015

Undocumented Immigrants Taking All Of Nation’s Resources, Says Study Conducted By Racist Uncle

November 30, 2015 Melissa Peng 0

FREMONT, CA — For the fourth consecutive year in a row, self-proclaimed scientist and uncle to five Joey Burke announced at a Thanksgiving dinner turned […]

No Picture

Students Take Break From Battling On-Campus Hate To Hate Crosstown Rivals

November 27, 2015 Christopher Wong 0

LOS ANGELES – Lobbing disparaging remarks at the Trojan student body during the UCLA-USC football game Saturday, students at the University of California, Los Angeles […]

No Picture

Op-Ed: Shouldn’t ALL Fridays Matter?

November 27, 2015 Nathan Guzik 0

This holiday season, we’ve all gathered our families together to reminisce about the year gone by, and wish each other well into the coming year. […]

Astrophysics Students Blinded from Looking Directly at the Sun

November 25, 2015 Ken Rudnick 0

WESTWOOD, CA — A class of 23 UCLA students from the astrophysics general education course ‘My Star and Me’ were blinded this Monday after taking part […]

Louisiana Denies Governor Jindal Refuge From GOP Primary

November 24, 2015 Jack Lyons 0

BATON ROUGE, LA — Following his displacement from the GOP primary due to instability within the party, Governor Bobby Jindal was denied refuge by his […]

Report: Single Gourd In B-Plate Promises Festive Holiday Season

November 24, 2015 Sierra Scott 0

WESTWOOD — Sources confirmed today that B-Plate has risen the stakes this holiday season, as the addition of a single gourd to the dining hall’s […]

Local Family Eats Cornbread Out Of A Turkey’s Ass

November 22, 2015 Jasmine Don 0

LOS ANGELES — The Suelden family will be gathering in their home to eat cornbread out of a turkey’s ass this Thanksgiving, sources confirmed. “Yes, […]

Student Lists Proficiency At Microsoft Word As Only Skill On Resume

November 22, 2015 Melissa Peng 0

WESTWOOD — Eager to advertise her technological savvy, UCLA student Jennifer Shaw made sure to highlight her experience with Microsoft’s popular word processor by including nothing […]

Freshman Has Yet To Meet Gay Best Friend

November 22, 2015 Sierra Scott 0

WESTWOOD — First year student Carly Lockwood told reporters last Friday that she does not understand how, in nearly two months at UCLA, she has […]

Powell To Be Converted Into Temple For John Wooden

November 22, 2015 Tucker Moses-Hanson 0

WESTWOOD —The UCLA Department of Administration held a joint ad-hoc meeting last Tuesday with the Center for the Study of Religion (CSR) to discuss plans […]

Posts navigation

1 2 3 »

Featured Authors

Robi Chatterjee
  • Second Year Learns To Do Laundry
  • Spotify Wrapped 2022 Just Spotify Wrapped 2021 In Slightly Different Order
  • We Gave A Monkey A Typewriter And This Is What We Got:

RECOMMENDED

  • “This Game Is Fucking Bullshit!” Little Brother Reports

    February 15, 2023 0
  • Cupid To Upgrade To Rocket Launcher, Quote: “Gotta Get Those Numbers Up”

    February 14, 2023 0
  • U.S. Mistakenly Shoots Down Stoner in Place of “High Altitude Object”:

    February 14, 2023 0
  • Valentine’s Day Gift Ideas For Your Boyfriend

    February 13, 2023 0
  • Tom Brady Comes Out As Bisexual, And IX Other Super Bowl LVII Predictions

    February 11, 2023 0
FOLLOW US
  • Facebook
  • Twitter
  • Instagram
  • LinkedIn
ARCHIVES

Copyright © 2023 | WordPress Theme by MH Themes