Louisiana Denies Governor Jindal Refuge From GOP Primary

BATON ROUGE, LA — Following his displacement from the GOP primary due to instability within the party, Governor Bobby Jindal was denied refuge by his own state of Louisiana. “With so many refugees fleeing the Republican primary, we can’t possibly filter all of the bad ones out—some of them may have secretly developed progressive ideologies, and we can’t have them sneaking those across our borders,” said Jindal’s lieutenant governor Jay Dardenne, noting that he fears the spread of the Democratic party to southern states like Louisiana. “While we won’t let him in, we aren’t opposed to sending military aid to help oust Trump. The problem is that there are so many candidates fighting each other that no opposition is strong enough to take him down.” In light of this recent conflict, many people have changed their Facebook profile pictures to elephants to show that they stand in solidarity with the Republican party.

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Area Man. Freelance fraternity president. Aspiring father of two. Probable future Nobel laureate. Occasionally collude with Russia.