Freshman Has Yet To Meet Gay Best Friend

WESTWOOD — First year student Carly Lockwood told reporters last Friday that she does not understand how, in nearly two months at UCLA, she has yet to meet her “gay best friend.” “I’m looking for a gay best friend who will be like one of my girlfriends, but, like, somehow way better,” Lockwood said, her eyes glazing over as she imagined the makeover montage that she hopes to someday experience with said friend. “The gay people I’ve met so far just don’t fill that requirement. I’m approachable, I’m outgoing, I’m LGBT-friendly… what am I doing wrong?” At press time, Lockwood was weeping while scrolling through the Instagram tag “#yaaas,” which she cited as a major inspiration behind her recent friendship goals.

About Sierra Scott 24 Articles
Sierra is an accomplished writer who has been with the Westwood Enabler for as long as many can remember. Years? No. Decades? No. The ancient Mesopotamians referred to her as "Shalduth, the Night Bringer" but she usually goes by "Sierra."