I Lived It: Guy I Told My Friends About Has Only One Instagram Post From 2018
It seemed too good to be true. And I was right. After two dates, the guy from that meet-cute dream encounter gave me his Instagram […]
Relationships
RA Tacks Condoms To Lounge Wall To Promote Safer Sex
WESTWOOD — In preparation for Valentines’ Day, fourth-year RA and president of UCLA Sexperts Abby Stinence has used thumbtacks to pin condoms to the wall […]
REPORT: The People In Line At Kerckhoff Definitely Want To Hear About Your Sex Life
WESTWOOD — A survey conducted by the Daily Bruin concluded that the patrons of the historic Kerckhoff Coffee House definitely want to learn all the […]
Westwood’s Willies Go Wonka: Chlamydia Outbreak Following Timothée Chalamet Appearance
WESTWOOD — After the premiere of Timothée Chalamet’s new film Wonka, hundreds of thousands of students have flooded the Ashe Student Health Center and tested […]
“What’s The World’s Smartest Dinosaur? A Thesaurus!” And 3 Other Silly Jokes About Dinosaurs And Thesauruses To Impress Your Unresponsive Father
Just a well-written joke all around! The multiple synonyms at the end really make that punchline hit hard, and your father will definitely see that […]
Interesting: That 7-Month Stretch Was Actually A Situationship
WESTWOOD — As third-year English major Anne Cloyne checked fellow student and love interest Robert Dikk’s Snapchat score for the fifth time in ten minutes, […]
Campus Couple Not Doing Anything Out Of The Ordinary Under That Blanket
WESTWOOD — The UCLA community was relieved to discover yesterday afternoon that the students concealed by a large picnic blanket were just trying to watch […]
Old Guy Can Show You A Thing Or Two
YOUR NEIGHBOR’S HOUSE — After you complained about the difficulties in your life, your neighbor and local old guy Rutherford McFiddlesticks explained that he may […]
Botanical Garden Turtle Confesses: Your First Date Was Cringe
Hey buddy. It’s me, Grog. Yeah, the little turtle by the bridge who saw you walking through the botanical gardens with your date. Oh, you […]
Uber Drivers To Charge Extra If You Talk About Your Delusionship
LOS ANGELES — Uber announced today that drivers are now allowed to charge their riders an additional fee if they talk about their delusionship in […]