Trend Watch: Divorce!

After a glorious 20-year run, US divorce rates are back down to historic lows.

Come on, people! What are we doing?

The United States is known for being the biggest, the greatest, the best. Why are we letting divorce bring us down?

My mommy and daddy divorced when I was seven years old. It was great! I only wish that they had gotten remarried and divorced a couple more times for good measure. It only would help with the stats!

Let’s get back out there. Grab a lawyer, your best string of insults, a pack of tissues for your naive little kids, and divorce your partner! If you’re smart, you’ll do it twice. You guys know my number (top of page, second line).

Let this message be a rallying call to all my brave Americans out there, young and old.

Achieve. Believe. Succeed.

James Hinckleberry.