Student Picks Up Daily Bruin To Seem Informed
WESTWOOD—Crowds gathered in what was later described as “reverent awe” when Lisa Myers, first-year biology student, picked up a copy of the Daily Bruin as if […]
WESTWOOD—Crowds gathered in what was later described as “reverent awe” when Lisa Myers, first-year biology student, picked up a copy of the Daily Bruin as if […]
WESTWOOD—In what onlookers described as a “harrowingly dull” floor event, near catastrophe struck the third floor of Gardenia Hall Thursday night when host Shawn Molina avoided […]
CLEVELAND, OH—Citing his endless supply of expensive gifts including long distance RC helicopters and a mini TV, peers of Anthony Morega, a second grader at […]
WESTWOOD—Local cultural elite Arthur Chesterfield was reported to have liked William Shakespeare’s page on Facebook earlier today. “I just really think the English canon would […]
WESTWOOD—With no adult supervision present at the time, an anonymous group of bigots worked late into the night to plaster the University of California, Los […]
RALEIGH, NC—Transgender man Jim Hornet used a public restroom at a Chili’s in Raleigh this afternoon. “I work at an office supply company, and I […]
NEW YORK – A recent analytical study performed by New York University has revealed that water is best served at the body temperature of your […]
UGANDA — Charles Masane, leader of the Righteous Liberation Army announced in a press release this morning that water will be discounted 20% this weekend […]
TOKYO — Protesters at the Japanese Cultural Cuisine Association’s annual food sampling last Thursday were shocked to learn that the animal they were fighting to […]
CUMBERLAND, MD—In a frantic meltdown this past Wednesday, Interstate 68—which runs through western Maryland—expressed utter disbelief when it found out it was, in fact, adopted […]
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