African Warlord Offers 20% Discount on Water

Charles Masane offers a discount on water to lucky locals. (Picture courtesy of Erick Yeh)
Charles Masane offers a discount on water to lucky locals. (Picture courtesy of Erick Yeh)
Charles Masane offers a discount on water to lucky locals. (Picture courtesy of Erick Yeh)

UGANDA — Charles Masane, leader of the Righteous Liberation Army announced in a press release this morning that water will be discounted 20% this weekend and this weekend only. “It’s that time of year again,” Masane said, standing in front of a brightly lit shopping center, “and in celebration of my coronation as World Emperor, we are offering fresh, disease free water at prices so low you’re going to be dying to not shop here.” At this point members of the state military held up signs and the press applauded on cue. “But wait, there’s more. We also have special deals on foodstuffs, toilet passes, and not having your village razed to the ground.” Masane ended with his regime’s slogan, “And remember, wells are for infidels.”

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Hans is an invaluable satirist and talented humor writer with the Enabler who has contributed much material, tangibly and intangibly, to reality and surreality.